[ He knows it won't be easy, not matter which on of them dies first, and all he can ask of Geralt is that he tries to be happy. It's a harder request than it sounds. ]
You turned my life into an adventure, made it unforgeable from the start. I don't regret anything we did, just maybe the things we didn't do when we should but that's now in the past. It's been good.
[he shouldn't have brought it up but the morbid thought is one he's had more and more lately. things have changed drastically since they first met after all.]
I know. That's why I hoped no one ever would, but destiny had other ideas.
[ The thought might be morbid but these are the kind of concerns Jaskier wants Geralt to share with him instead of letting them fester. ]
You made it clear from the beginning that you didn't want this, it's not as if you didn't warn me. I almost want to apologize but I'm not sorry for what we have now.
[ What an unexpected serious conversation. Jaskier moves to sit closer to Geralt, leaning in to place a kiss in the corner of his mouth and squeeze his hand. ]
[He's almost expecting it when Jaskier comes over, straightening up in his seat. He didn't mean for things to get so heavy but it all slipped out, didn't it?]
I'm fine, the idea just came out. I've thought about it before.
[ When does anything go the way they want? If Jaskier cared about quiet and boring, he would have stayed at home. But he is where he wants to be. Shifting, he gives Geralt a gentle smile that doesn't reach his eyes but it's a smile nontheless.]
I'm glad you told me. As unpleasant as it is to think about what might happen, it's also important. I don't plan on stopping bothering you for a few more decades, you've been warned.
Hm. [ He won't push it if Geralt doesn't want to talk about the subject but he wanted to make it clear that the option of actually bringing it up wasn't unwelcome. Jaskier really isn't that good with feelings either when it comes to relationships outside one night stands, and he was terrible at handling those as well. ]
It's fine. [ He melts a little against Geralt, making a soft sound at the nudging. It's sweet and he's a sucker for these kind of gestures. ] I didn't mean to overwhelm you either, I know you don't like these sort of talks. We could just handle things as they come, as always. We're good at improvising.
[Neither of them are the best when it comes to talking through feelings but Jaskier at least tries to encourage him, even more so lately. Geralt is trying to be more open. Trying.
Since they're alone out here, he nudges the bard's hand too and laces their fingers together in a hold against his thigh.]
Looking to the future doesn't help. The present is more reliable.
[ Jaskier wants to be supporting and he's aware that it's hard to change one's mind after decades of suppressed feelings. His gaze quickly falls to their entwined hands, big blue eyes blinking quickly and heat rising to his cheeks.
They did quite a lot more than holding hands already but these kinds of gestures leave him flushing like a teenager with a crush. It's the worst. Jaskier tries to compose his face into something less embarrassing by the time he looks back at Geralt. ]
I agree, my dear Witcher. [ He gives their hands a squeeze. After a moment of hesitation, because Jaskier can't believe he's going to suggest this of all things, he continued. ]
I've been told on a few occasions that I'm not of much use in a fight. [ 'A few' is putting it mildly but if Geralt would be so kind as to not laugh too loudly at that, it would be wonderful. ] Perhaps, maybe, to minimize the risk of any of us kicking the bucket...you could give me some sort of quick self-defence class? Fighting is against my religion but for the sake of this working, I will make the effort.
[It isn't the kind of suggestion he's expecting but certainly enough to intrigue Geralt. There's even a hint of a smile on his lips, amused but curious, as he meets the other's gaze.]
If I'm teaching you how to defend yourself, it won't be quick. You'll have to learn how properly.
[ It's not the kind of suggestion Jaskier makes lightly. He abhors violence and bloodbaths make him sick to his stomach no matter how many he's witnessed. But he figures this sort of thing could keep Geralt distracted.
He scrunches his nose at the reply, rather cutesy at that.] If I must.
[ Does Jaskier sounds overly dramatic? Yes , absolutely. ] When do you want to start?
[He won't have to shed blood to know how to defend himself in a pinch. It's a good idea and surprisingly grown up, even if Jaskier's reaction is expected. Geralt lightly squeezes his hand in response.]
Tomorrow, when the sun is up. [Smirking, Geralt can't help but add:] When you're exhausted and undoubtedly yelling at me, just remember this was your idea.
So early? [ He can be mature on occasion, even if it isn't his favourite thing to do. Geralt is mature enough for 3 people already. The squeeze earns the Witcher a smile, and a wolfish one at that. ]
It would hardly be the first time you leave me exhausted. Usually there's a different kind of yelling, though.
[ With no people around to interrupt them, Roach notwithstanding, Jaskier swings his leg over Geralt so he can straddle the man's lap. He rest his forearms on Geralt's shoulders, pulling him in a little. ]
Do you now? Good, because I prefer to scream at you only for a pleasant reason.
[The close proximity is sudden but Geralt is so used to it by now that he lets it happen, leaning back enough to give Jaskier room to sit. His own arms wrap around the man's middle and Geralt feels calm despite how exposed they actually are in these woods.]
Is that kind of screaming involved in your plans for the night?
[ Jaskier smiles up at him, happy and basking on the fact he can wrap himself all over Geralt without hearing any objections. He sways his hips, grinding down on Geralt's lap.]
It is. But I need a partner in crime for those plans to happen. You busy tonight?
[The way Jaskier just beams so much more these days is refreshing. Geralt knows it has a lot to do with the way their relationship has developed, and how much softer he's gotten on the man. Seeing him happy makes him forget about the heavy shit they were just discussing.]
Hmm I was going to catch up on my beauty sleep but... [He trails off with a drawl, his hand lowering to playfully grasp at the bottom currently grinding at him.] I think I'd rather stay up for most of the night with you.
Is that so? [ Jaskier lets out a soft huff at the reply, voice tinted with amusement. Geralt does seem to be sleeping a little better nowadays, or at least Jaskier has had more chances to snuggle up to him in bed, which is always good. ]
Very generous of you, Geralt, sacrificing sleep to pound me into the mattress. [ His back arches, bum pushing against the hand, and he leans in to bite the witcher's lower lip. ]
[ Jaskier moans happily against this mouth, breathless already by the time they break apart. ]
It can be a rock for all care if you're there to keep me warm. [ He playfully curls a finger around a strand of that long, white hair. His legs also wrap more tightly around Geralt's waist before giving him a squeeze. ] Let's go, don't keep me waiting.
[Jaskier has only gotten bolder and bolder as of late and Geralt can't find it in him to mind. Not one bit. He ends up carrying them into their little tent in their makeshift camp, something to keep them from any potential prying eyes (and the elements, it seems). Losing himself in the bard for the night has become something of a nightly tradition at this point.
They're pressed close by morning, the tent small and keeping close to share the warmth of their bodies. Geralt shifts into wakefulness first, his arm around the other man. It feels peaceful, no sign of danger he can sense from outside, the birds chirping and sunlight filtering through the trees and against the canvas that separates them from the outside world. Jaskier is still sleeping peacefully and Geralt can't help but take the moment to admire how calm he looks, completely trusting to let himself fall asleep like this with him. Moments later Geralt leans in to press his nose beneath his ear, lips kissing a line down the man's jaw and neck with a lingering hunger from the night before.]
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I know it can be harsh and cruel but there's beauty in it too. Kind people in it. Those are the things worth fighting for.
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[who knows how he'll react if and when the time comes. he doesn't like to think about it either.]
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[ He knows it won't be easy, not matter which on of them dies first, and all he can ask of Geralt is that he tries to be happy. It's a harder request than it sounds. ]
You turned my life into an adventure, made it unforgeable from the start. I don't regret anything we did, just maybe the things we didn't do when we should but that's now in the past. It's been good.
I...need you. You know that, right?
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I know. That's why I hoped no one ever would, but destiny had other ideas.
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You made it clear from the beginning that you didn't want this, it's not as if you didn't warn me. I almost want to apologize but I'm not sorry for what we have now.
[ What an unexpected serious conversation. Jaskier moves to sit closer to Geralt, leaning in to place a kiss in the corner of his mouth and squeeze his hand. ]
Ey...are you okay?
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I'm fine, the idea just came out. I've thought about it before.
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I'm glad you told me. As unpleasant as it is to think about what might happen, it's also important. I don't plan on stopping bothering you for a few more decades, you've been warned.
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[Leave it to Jaskier to immediately want to talk it out. Geralt sighs out through his nose and opts to nudge him gently against his side.]
I didn't mean to make you sad.
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It's fine. [ He melts a little against Geralt, making a soft sound at the nudging. It's sweet and he's a sucker for these kind of gestures. ] I didn't mean to overwhelm you either, I know you don't like these sort of talks. We could just handle things as they come, as always. We're good at improvising.
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Since they're alone out here, he nudges the bard's hand too and laces their fingers together in a hold against his thigh.]
Looking to the future doesn't help. The present is more reliable.
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They did quite a lot more than holding hands already but these kinds of gestures leave him flushing like a teenager with a crush. It's the worst. Jaskier tries to compose his face into something less embarrassing by the time he looks back at Geralt. ]
I agree, my dear Witcher. [ He gives their hands a squeeze. After a moment of hesitation, because Jaskier can't believe he's going to suggest this of all things, he continued. ]
I've been told on a few occasions that I'm not of much use in a fight. [ 'A few' is putting it mildly but if Geralt would be so kind as to not laugh too loudly at that, it would be wonderful. ] Perhaps, maybe, to minimize the risk of any of us kicking the bucket...you could give me some sort of quick self-defence class? Fighting is against my religion but for the sake of this working, I will make the effort.
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If I'm teaching you how to defend yourself, it won't be quick. You'll have to learn how properly.
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He scrunches his nose at the reply, rather cutesy at that.] If I must.
[ Does Jaskier sounds overly dramatic? Yes , absolutely. ] When do you want to start?
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Tomorrow, when the sun is up. [Smirking, Geralt can't help but add:] When you're exhausted and undoubtedly yelling at me, just remember this was your idea.
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It would hardly be the first time you leave me exhausted. Usually there's a different kind of yelling, though.
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[The suggestion earns a raised eyebrow, that smile of Jaskier's more than telling.]
And I much prefer the yelling you do in bed than on the road when I've done something foolish.
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[ With no people around to interrupt them, Roach notwithstanding, Jaskier swings his leg over Geralt so he can straddle the man's lap. He rest his forearms on Geralt's shoulders, pulling him in a little. ]
Do you now? Good, because I prefer to scream at you only for a pleasant reason.
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Is that kind of screaming involved in your plans for the night?
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It is. But I need a partner in crime for those plans to happen. You busy tonight?
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Hmm I was going to catch up on my beauty sleep but... [He trails off with a drawl, his hand lowering to playfully grasp at the bottom currently grinding at him.] I think I'd rather stay up for most of the night with you.
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Very generous of you, Geralt, sacrificing sleep to pound me into the mattress. [ His back arches, bum pushing against the hand, and he leans in to bite the witcher's lower lip. ]
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In this case, it's going to be a sleeping roll.
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It can be a rock for all care if you're there to keep me warm. [ He playfully curls a finger around a strand of that long, white hair. His legs also wrap more tightly around Geralt's waist before giving him a squeeze. ] Let's go, don't keep me waiting.
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They're pressed close by morning, the tent small and keeping close to share the warmth of their bodies. Geralt shifts into wakefulness first, his arm around the other man. It feels peaceful, no sign of danger he can sense from outside, the birds chirping and sunlight filtering through the trees and against the canvas that separates them from the outside world. Jaskier is still sleeping peacefully and Geralt can't help but take the moment to admire how calm he looks, completely trusting to let himself fall asleep like this with him. Moments later Geralt leans in to press his nose beneath his ear, lips kissing a line down the man's jaw and neck with a lingering hunger from the night before.]
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