Open Post | TFLN overflown

[givingexposition]

Comments

[chaoticpiglet]

Gross? Take a bath, Jaskier, I think you've got some blood on you.

[ It's really a pity. She'd have tossed a coin at him to see it.

But see, ammunition or not, she understands. The comment hits a little too close to home. ]

Sounds like you need a new adventure. Without any burly men.

[ Is that an invitation? You best believe it. ]

[givingexposition]

I regretted those words as soon as I said them. But for once, do you have a point, I could use a warm bath to relax.

[ Maybe she can trick him into it some other day, there will be more chances to see him covered in blood for sure. These kinds of things just keep happening to them. ]

Oh? [ To say he's surprised would be an understatement. He's also deeply touched because this means a lot coming from Yennefer. ]

It would be a good change, I think. If you are sure you won't mind me composing a song or two about your adventures.

[chaoticpiglet]

You'll come to find, if you focused less on the dagger and more on my words, that I make a number of good points.

[ Insert instant regret over offering anything. ]

Sing nothing about me and more about the orgies and you've got yourself a deal.

[givingexposition]

Admittedly, the dagger and sharp claws are usually what gets people's attention first. But you are wiser than most, I'll give you that.

[ Since admitting that he likes her wit is hard.

Noooo. ]

You ask a lot of me but...Sure, sounds good enough. We might even make some coin together.

These two are the reason why people call the witcher R-rated Xena the Warrior Princess tbh

[chaoticpiglet]

Of course, but you're not 'most people,' considering you've made a living by strong-arming your way into becoming a Witcher's troubadour.

[ Listen, she can acknowledge that as much of a pain in the arse he is, that is a feat. ]

All the more shame, I suppose, that your resources have run dry. Tell me, Jaskier, do you have a strong stomach?

/It's true and they should say it/

[givingexposition]

That I did [ And look where that got me, Jaskier thinks to himself. But she said that as a positive thing, so it makes him smile a little. ] Thank you.

Oh, my resources come and go often but it doesn't take a lot to bring them back. I have my lute and my voice, that will be enough, trust me.

That...depends. Why are you asking? I've certainly seen enough gruesome things in my life but I still don't like the sight of blood.

EMBRACE IT

[chaoticpiglet]

Nothing traumatizing except for seeing an old man's saggy balls. I'm speaking more about portals.

ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ YAS

[givingexposition]

Ew. That's a mental image I didn't need.

Oh, portal! I've never used one but if it helps any, I don't get sea sick. So I'll probably be fine?

https://imgur.com/9S99xJz C:

[chaoticpiglet]

Glad we're in agreement. You'll be in charge of chasing them away to spare our eyes.

If you vomit, keep it away from my boots or I'll toss you back through the portal.

Oh no, that is adorable. My heart.

[givingexposition]

That I can do. I seem to have a natural talent to make people want to leave me, might as well put it to use.

[ He wants to make that sounds like sarcasm and not self deprecating, and yet... ]

I won't vomit on your general direction, Bard's word. So, uh, how do the portal things work exactly...?

[chaoticpiglet]

That sounded pathetic.

[ Truth, where is the lie in that link. ]

Magic, typically. Throughout all your adventures, you've never seen a sorceress use one before?

[givingexposition]

You truly say the nicest things. No wonder I'm the bard of the two.

[ Sadly ]

Not really, no. Only really powerful individuals can make them and get to the other side in one piece, or that's what I've heard. Did you learn how to make them in Aretuza?

[chaoticpiglet]

Someone has to.

[ She'll just ignore that latter comment. ]

Well I suppose I'll allow you to write a song of that.

Creating a portal is how Aretuza found me. They only taught me how to control my chaos so that I can conjure them at will.

[givingexposition]

It's actually pretty refreshing to have someone talk back to me. Geralt mostly only grunts, snarls or hums.

[ And with the years Jaskier has learned to understand what each tone means but he likes having actual conversations. ]

It will be one of my greatest songs, I promise you.

Oh, interesting. So random magic is how it all starts?

[chaoticpiglet]

Some of his words would be better replaced with grunts or snarls.

[ Particularly when he puts his foot in his mouth and mocks her ability to be a mother... and then mention how he has a child surprise. ]

That sounds like something you tell all your potential would-be song subjects.

Are you actually curious about mages?

[givingexposition]

They could be an improvement, that is true.

[ Geralt has an uncanny ability to fuck up when he opens his mouth, no wonder he decides to talk so very little. Like, what person sees whe mess that happened at Pavetta's betrothal and goes: 'That was wild but anyway, I claim the Law of surprise too'? To this day Jaskier doesn't understand what went through his head back then. ]

I don't really have that many song subject, I'm very exclusive with my muses. I only had one for the past 20 years.

I'm a bard, we are honestly curious about anything. So yes, I am.

[chaoticpiglet]

A huge one, seeing how he fucked two relationships within the same day, was it?

[ She'd heard him yelling at Jaskier as she'd stormed off. ]

How do you live with that, knowingly confining yourself to one.

Seems things are different these days, but a mage requires a conduit moment. Magic is about controlling chaos, they teach you.

[givingexposition]

Same day? I'd say within the same 10 minutes. You gotta admit that screwing up that much takes talent.

[ It's rather embarrassing that she heard that, not going to lie, but what's done is done. Jaskier packed up his things -the lute- and left as Geralt wanted. ]

It's actually easy. When it happen, you know it's the right person. You know you want to be there for them, despite the harsh life or the even harsher words.

But I guess I was mistaken.


And if you lost control of that chaos? Magic turns against you?

[chaoticpiglet]

I think I may vomit. Are we talking about your profession, or your undyingly stupid love for an arsehole?

[ It's overrated and fake and likely manipulated like his wish with the djinn was. ]

That depends on the person, I imagine, and what they're doing.

You could be turned into an eel.

[givingexposition]

Please don't, that's disgusting. I'm done with seeing people covered in bodily fluids that don't belong outside the body.

[ He's going to ignore that question, okay? okay. ]

I imagine the results would not be pretty but...An eel. From all possible things, an eel. I could make a joke about long, slippery things that are hard to grasp but I won't because you're a lady.

It's like a curse then? Would it be able to be broken in some way? like with a kiss? Although not a lot of people would like to kiss an eel.

[chaoticpiglet]

Just because I have tits and you have a cock doesn't mean I can't handle a crude joke.

And if someone's cock is long, slippery, and tends to flop around like an eel would, I think there's appropriate reason for concern.

[ Queen of ignoring things accepts your intentional ignoring of things, bard. ]

Tell me: do you frequently try to kiss 'eels', Jaskier?

[givingexposition]

Oho, well then. I'll remember that. [ Yen, you don't know what you have unleashed. ] Remind me to sing you The fishmonger's daughter one day. It's always a hit.

Hah! You do have a point there, I concede it.

[ Thank u, darling. ]

Not really but once a baby gryphon licked my face thinking I was its mother. Or that I was food. The tongue is rough like sandpaper, I don't recommend it, but the baby was so cute. Geralt made me left before its mom came back and tried to kill us.

I could have had a gryphon, Yen. A gryphon. That would have saved me so much walking once it grew up.

[chaoticpiglet]

Remind me to have a few drinks before you start.

[ Ew stop being such a marshmallow. She doesn't know how to deal with nice Jaskier. Also, pretty sure she can out dirty talk you, bud. ]

I hate everything that I'm about to say, but I can picture you mothering a baby gryphon.

You know that horses do exist? And that people typically ride them?

[ So extra. He's in good company tbh. ]

[givingexposition]

If I didn't know better I'd say you are doubting my singing abilities.

[ No, never. And oh, that's a challenge he would accept. ]

Wouldn't I? And once it grows up it can eat all the people we don't like. It's all advantages.

I'm vaguely aware of that, yes. Horses are also crazy expensive.

[chaoticpiglet]

Do you know how many bloody times I heard your toss a coin song?

[ That's the easy way to dodge giving him a compliment. ]

I think if it ate all the people I disliked, it would get too fat to fly. And I can't see you disliking many people.

Not if you steal one. Then it's free.